When I was young, and I was young once, I used to think that once you got to be a certain age, you figured everything out, bought a house and planned for retirement.
I was right about everything except the part where I figure everything out. I haven't figured out a damn thing. That fact is obvious everywhere I look.
Take Lisa, for example. Lisa is a dear, precious soul who has been a brilliant light in my life. She has listened to my complaints and troubles. She has hugged me and smiled and reassured me. She has told me to eat seasonally and listen to my body. Over and over again.
One time, Lisa told me that my most important and best guru is my inner teacher. My inner guide. I almost laughed. My analytical mind immediately dismissed that as ludicrous. After all, I haven't figured everything out yet so the answer must be out there somewhere. I just need to 'friend' the right person or make the right google search to find it.
Not too long ago, I was reading Lisa's blog. She was talking about the chakras and what they mean. She shared an assignment she had finished. The assignment was to discover a song that resonated with you and a particular chakra. She listed out her songs and it was an impressive list. Lisa did her homework and a carefully crafted list of the perfect songs was the result. Or so I thought.
I took this assignment on for myself. Since then, I've listened carefully to hundreds of songs looking for clues as to which particular chakra they could represent.
Nothing. Not a single song worked for me. I decided this was an impossible task and gave up without having chosen even one song as a starting place. What happened next is probably predictable.
This morning as I was driving to work, I was listening to the radio. It was an ordinary morning with the usual drive to work and the same DJ on the same old radio station I've listened to for years. Today he played a song I hadn't heard in a long time. As the familiar melody began, it happened. I felt as though my true voice had been freed. My throat opened and I sang at the top of my lungs. I carried the tune with confidence and satisfaction. Every word rang solid and true in my ears.
I was speaking my truth using the words of a long dead musician.
On the heels of that realization, the floodgates opened and song after song came to mind for me. Long after I'd gotten to work and started my day, I would hear a new song in my head and know it was the right one. I came home from work with Post-it notes in my pockets with snippets of songs written down.
But the crazy part isn't the songs or the list. The crazy part is I think I may have figured it out. Maybe not everything, but the most important thing. The sad part is that Lisa told me several times and I didn't hear her. I was listening with my head and not hearing with my heart.
She said (using words to this effect), "The best guru is your inner teacher. If you listen to her and follow your heart, she will never steer you wrong."
I still have a lot to learn and a lot of listening to do. But today I felt a fundamental shift inside myself. It was a sense of things clicking into place. It felt...right. And you know what the thing that feels 'rightest' about it is?
It's okay. Well and truly okay. It doesn't matter what other people think. Not of me or my list or this blog. None of it matters. What matters is what comes from inside...from that inner teacher.
So. Now, for Lisa and her wisdom, here is my list:
- Muladhara: Sarah McLachlan--Song for a Winter's Night
- Svadhisthana: Grand Funk Railroad--Some Kind of Wonderful
- Manipura: Beats Antique--Relic
- Anahata: Solace--Bounce
- Visuddha: John Lennon--Imagine
- Sahasrara: The Who--Reign O'er Me.