Today I was off from the day job and I spent my day in a funk. I was missing my Mom, missing my farm, and missing my freedom from before I took this job. I was in a deep blue funk.
I should have seen this coming. After all, it's August. Usually by now I've either been to Colorado or I'm preparing to go see my Mom. I have done neither this year and I don't plan to. It kinda hit me this morning that I won't ever be planning to visit her again.
A deep, dark blue funk.
After I got done with my errands for the day, I cried in the car all the way home. Then I cried to my husband. Then I cried to my best friend. Then I remembered the rabbits needed feeding and cleaning up after.
So I went to the farm and cried to my rabbits. They were fairly indifferent to my tears as I expected. I took the big metal pans from their cages and started cleaning them. When I put them back, I noticed Gordon was nibbling on the weeds that were poking up through the bottom of his hutch. It was enchanting and I left him until last to put his tray back so he could nibble some more. In fact, I went and got some more weeds and gave them to the ladybuns so they could nibble delicately at some greenery.
With that task behind me and dusk fast approaching, I decided to do something about the general tallness of all the plant life in the 'lawn' at the farm. I hauled all 400 feet of garden hose up to the hose racks and wound them up off the ground. Then, I cranked up the Little Red Mower That Could and I mowed the damned bitch of a Ditch.
Have I ever blogged about the ditch? Maybe not. Our Ditch (I think of it as a proper noun because it's a proper bitch) is about half a block long with steep sides and a rather bumpity bottom. For some reason the 'grass' on the bottom is pretty sparse but the 'grass' on the steep sides grows luxuriantly. Of course. The part that is hard to mow needs mowing the most. It's like some kind of twisted corollary to Murphy's Law...inverse relationship between 'grass' and grade?
I know, I know: Nerd!
|It's not a good picture, but that's the Ditch. Really, it's worse than it seems. I'll have to try for a better shot than Google street view can provide.|
When I got back in my car, I was humming a little tune. I forget which one because it suddenly occurred to me that I was humming a tune. Humming. Like I was...happy or something.
Then I had a thought.
I spent a lot of time this week inside. Up until a month or so ago, I was spending upwards of 10-12 hours a day outdoors in the garden or doing something outside. Now I'm down to an hour or less some days. I've always been the happiest working outside. It recharges me in a way nothing else ever has. You might say that like the mower I was running on empty. Sometimes when my energy is that low I forget how to fix it. It's really as simple as mowing the darn bitch of a ditch...or anything else requiring physical exertion.
Exercise is the best anti-depressant out there.
But don't tell my husband that. Sheesh. He'll never mow it again!