Finding My Way

I've been quiet lately.  But, that's just because I've been busy.  The garden is growing nicely, work is busy and I went to a really fun outdoors workshop a couple weeks ago with one of my besties.

The thing that has my attention the most lately is my health and fitness.  My latest obsession is finding acceptance in my life.

It's hard to explain.  So, I'll try anyway.

A few weeks ago, I ran across a blog fatgirlphd.com and, honestly?  I think it changed my life.  No, really.

I have been on every diet there is.  Well, I haven't tried the one where they send you the food in the mail every week but that one kinda frightens me a little.  I did get to try some of their food and it left a lot to be desired.

But I digress.

The blog is a simple one.  It's basically the story of a woman in the UK who has lost a boatload of weight by not caring about losing weight anymore.  That's an oversimplification, of course.  I urge you to read her blog.  She shifted her focus from the scales to her health and happiness.  The weight loss was a by-product of shifting from processed, fast and junk foods to whole, more natural foods as well as a vast change in level of physical activity.

Finally!  Finally I found someone who made it work the way I wanted to make it work.  Sure it took her a longish time to lose the weight she lost, but it's real weight loss and unlikely to return with friends unlike the weight I lost on the last, pay-as-you-go website I tried.

I wonder how many steps it takes to burn these off?

I am sick to the back teeth of diets that work for awhile and then stop working because they are impossible to maintain.  Katie (the blog writer) is right.  A lifestyle change is in order.

So I've done it.  Again.  But there's a difference this time that I can't quite pin down.  I'm eating better.  I'm eating fewer calories.  I'm walking 10,000+ steps a day and riding my bike.  The real kicker is I have an appointment with a personal trainer on Friday.

Holy buckets!  This sounds serious.  I feel almost...confident.  Is that possible?

The best thing is, for the first time in a long time, I feel optimism.  I am no longer under the pressure of 'being good' or 'being strong' or 'having an iron will.'  I can feel good about trying.  I can feel good about making changes even if the scale doesn't move because I'm learning to listen to my body and pay attention to how it feels about the things I do to it. I like it when I eat well and my body feels, perhaps shockingly, good.  That makes me smile almost as much as this red columbine.

*At this point I feel I need to point out that fatgirlphd does not sell anything that I can tell.  I'm not endorsing a product nor have I been paid to write about this. It's just a cool blog.  So there.